I just finished up my 12th move in the last 13 years. Crazy. But beautiful at the same time.
It’s a running joke in my family that my cat has moved more than most people.
Some moves were for love. Some were for education. Some were for heartbreak. Some were for a change of city. And some were just for moving on.
What each move has taught me is how to let go of what was and enjoy the new now. Resiliency so to speak.
It’s this resiliency – as Merriam-Webster puts it – The ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change – (I believe) that allows us to be confident, empowered, and mentally strong.
But so often we let our fear hold us back.
We try something. “Fail,” think it’s over, and we begin thinking we’re not good enough and we don’t deserve it.
We set our expectations over the moon and our results aren’t quick enough, so we decide it’s not worth it and stop.
We look at others and think she’s prettier, she’s more successful, she’s further along, and we beat ourselves up … and again stop trying.
What I want you to know is…
:: You haven’t failed. You have lived. You gather the lessons for next time and keep showing up.
:: It is worth it. You don’t need to quit. You just need to rest. There’s a big difference between these two. So go back and think about your WHY. Why is this important to you in the first place? Really dig deep here. Keeping asking yourself WHY??? And yes, you may find that you need to learn from your lessons and change your strategy, but that doesn’t mean your end destination isn’t worth it. HOW you get there and the “there” just may look different than you imagined. I have found this true in every area of my life… from love to career to my relationship with food to my own self-growth work.
:: And she isn’t prettier, more successful, or further along – she’s different. She’s in a different place on her path and maybe she’s on an entirely different path. And guess what? She’s a human being. And you know what that means? She has her own doubts, fears, and hard things she’s battling. No question.
So my dear, stop telling yourself you can’t.
Don’t believe all success happens tomorrow. Most “overnight” successes are 10 years in the making.
And instead of looking at others, look inwards.
And when you feel like giving up, quiet your fears, just for a second. Take a break (don’t quit).
Do something that brings you joy and show up again tomorrow, or in a few days. Give yourself some time. You are doing hard things. I know this because you’re here, reading this..
Life is messy. Feelings are complicated. And things are ALWAYS imperfect. But keep going. Go on another first date. Have the hard conversation. Pick yourself back up from that binge. Speak your truth. Find the gratitude. Do something fun. Believe in yourself. Push your fears aside. Remember your WHY. And know this is something you’ll do on a daily basis, forever. Because you are a living, growing, evolving human being and bouncing back is what you do. It’s a part of the process and know it all gets easier over time. You can have fun with this stuff too:)
So don’t quit, just take a break. And show back up when you’re ready.
p.s. also … exciting announcement! after matchmaking, love coaching, shattering heartache, over 100 1st dates, finding a future man-to-be (who was under my nose the whole time!) & dishing out legit dating & relationship advice over the years, a hot-new training is coming your way: Single & Sane: how to date with grace, not feel alone & attract your perfect partner (!!). Get a peak HERE.
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