Feeling Like a Loser? Here’s Why That’s a Good Thing
When I first started on my (spiritual) journey, I was naive.
At the same time, I was beating myself up and occasionally, felt like a loser.
I believed the more I challenged the beliefs holding me back, reframed my thoughts for the better, mediated, prayed, practiced mindfulness, lived self-kindness, moved my body out of love, and spoke my truth – I’d be in a constant state of amazing energy.
I wasn’t always in a constant state of amazingness.
Did these things help me stay in a good place?
Yes, absolutely – 550%. And they still do.
Without them, I wouldn’t be who I am today or where I am today.
But, did doing all this awesome inner work mean that I was never in a bad space?
Um, no.
I’m human.
And you are too.
You see, that was the naive thing. I thought (or maybe it was more like hoped) that if I just did all these things, consistently, I’d be all groovy – all the time.
But, here’s the deal…
Being in a good space doesn’t mean you’ll never feel down and out. And despite “doing the work,” you can still get into a funk.
And that doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you.
You have permission to feel down.
So often, I see friends, clients, mentees, plowing through their goals, dreams, and visions- and then something trips them up , stops them in their tracks, and causes some serious self-doubt to stare them in the face.
Am I good enough?
Can I really do this?
Is there something wrong with me?
Why can everyone do this, but not me?
I’ve been here too. Ugh – it feels awful.
And I’ll be there again. It’s all part of the journey, as we grow, change, and evolve.
Because the big whopping truth is: accepting your challenges and discovering how to work through them is as important (if not more important) as learning how to maintain your health, happiness, and wellbeing.
Your journey of self-love and acceptance is NOT about never feeling down – you wouldn’t know happy without sad.
It’s about choosing a different perspective. Viewing challenges as opportunities for growth. Being sooo comfortable with who you are that your “down” feelings don’t get you down down. Treating yourself with compassion and making the conscience decision to move forward with feelings of growth, gratitude, and grace.
You owe yourself some compassion, my friend.
Grow with grace.
Practicing self-compassion is about knowing yourself and caring for yourself enough to discover (and use) the tools that work for you to get into a better emotional space.
Maybe it’s a few deep breaths.
Maybe it’s journaling.
Maybe it’s a call to a supportive friend,
Maybe it’s being vulnerable, communicating your needs, and speaking your truth.
Maybe it’s a walk or a sweaty workout or yoga.
Maybe it’s mantras.
Maybe it’s choosing to rewrite your story.
Maybe it’s buying yourself flowers, getting your nails done, lighting candles, or getting a massage.
Maybe it’s choosing to nourish your body with wholesome foods.
Whatever ignites that fire in your soul that flips your switch into a feeling of “it’s all gonna be ok,” honor it, follow it – do it.
Just please don’t beat yourself up when you feel like a loser.
Whether for binging when you haven’t in weeks; feeling gross about your thighs and stomach when you’ve been on an awesome streak of hard-core body appreciation; or for comparing yourself, relentlessly, to other women when you haven’t stepped foot in that direction for months.
Repeat after me, it’s all cool. And we’ve all been there (yes, really).
This is a time of growth for you.
Our growth is about our perspective. You want to grow? Change your perspective.
Instead of…
“There’s obviously something wrong with me … how did I get back here?!”
Try something more like…
“There’s something I can learn here. It’s ok. I can change my story at any time. I’m choosing self-kindness. Remember, grow with grace. ”
I’d be lying if I told you that once you started on your journey to achieve a healthy relationship with food, body, mind, and soul that you’d never get off-track.
We aren’t expected to be in a good space all the time. It’s just not normal.
But, what can become normal is:
* Being able to pull yourself up and out of a negative place on your own time
* Having faith and trusting in your journey
* Consistently showing up for yourself
When you get to this “new normal,” you’ve left the fearful, insecure, anxious girl behind and transitioned into a reassured, confident, peaceful woman, who knows glimmers of her former, more insecure self may surface, but she now has the power to change her energy (for the better) when she chooses.
We all have a choice.
You have a choice.
So give yourself a break.
Feel your feelings. Let them all hang out. You’re not meant to be an emotionless robot. Your emotions and personality are what makes you YOU.
And sometimes that means moments of feeling like a loser.
You gotta remember, self-love + acceptance is an everyday, moment-by-moment kind of thing. We don’t just work on it for a month and then we’re good forever. We work on it daily, just like brushing our teeth to keep the icky stuff away.
As it’s something we work on throughout our entire lives, we’re going to have ups and downs! Keep in mind: even if we brush and floss daily, we can still get cavities, root canals, or fillings.
Just know the ups and downs of your journey is what makes your journey your journey.
And that, my sweet friend, is a beautiful thing.
XXO,
Corinne