Here’s the Tool I Use Daily to Stop Being So Mean to Myself

What do you tell yourself?

One of the first things I have new clients do is start paying attention to their thoughts about themselves and their body.

How often are you assuming or making up stories?

Would you talk to your daughter, sister or mother the way you talk to yourself?

When you 1st start tuning-in to the thoughts and stories you’re telling yourself  – it can be exhausting and super scary. THIS is part of the process. Remember, you can’t really tackle something unless you’re aware of it. And when we want to change something – generally we want to change it because it’s uncomfortable.

This work is something you do daily -forever. And it doesn’t always come easily. But the more you do it, the easier it becomes. The “it” really is choosing to see things in a perspective that serves plus helps you.


An example:

The other day in yoga class, as I’m looking in the mirror, across the room, in my shorts, I think YES, I do have cellulite on my right leg and I really don’t like it. But, I LOVE the fact that I can state it. That I can get to the point where I say that I don’t like it, but it is what it is, it’s part of a physical being on some people – some people being me – and I’m just happy that my legs allow me to do what they do and that I can honestly say, cellulite and all that I do love myself. I’m not my body, but my body allows me to move, and I take care of it because I want it to continually allow me to move. And through the DOING of taking care of myself is where I find self-love.

Here, I realized and stated how I felt but reframed it in a way that feels TRUE TO ME and that serves me. Plus, I know that I rather have that extra cellulite and a healthy relationship with food where I  honor my hunger + fullness rather than drinking countless cups of coffee to curb my hunger and hitting cardio machines for 90 minutes a pop to get the “perfect body.” I know that it’s only when I’m NOT taking care of myself, eating right, moving my body, meditating, speaking my truth, etc that I feel off.


So it’s through these other actions that I find more self-love. It’s our thoughts but also WHAT we decide to do with them that determines our health, happiness and feeling of groundedness.

So ask yourself: do your actions align with your desires, wants, and vision?

Are you allowing yourself to grow into your vision?

In other words:

If you want more self-love, do you speak kindly to yourself?

If you want compassion, are you compassionate to others?

If you want to find (or bring back) romantic love, do you love the people in your life and (WAY) more importantly, yourself?

If you want to move forward, are you choosing to stop thinking of why you can’t and instead of why you CAN?

If you want a healthier body, do you treat your body now with love and respect?

If you want to feel enough, do you celebrate your strengths?

If YES, and you keeping going along this path and choosing to see the bigger picture in your smaller actions that YOU choose – you will get to a place of self-love.


And yes, it will take time + showing up daily to better your relationship with your body – but that’s the same with all relationships, right? They all take time + love + care. So let that sink in, don’t be so hard on yourself, seriously.

And my biggest recommendation to anyone looking to be kinder to themselves is to write daily something you’re grateful for + something you love about YOU and/or your body. (Example: I appreciate my ability to connect with others; my legs that allow me to walk; and my biceps that are starting to pop out again, etc). This is very important to do. It’ll help you reframe and reflect.

But know you need to choose things that are actually true to you and on days that you feel stuck – be grateful that you have eyes to see, a computer or phone that allows you to read this, and lungs to breathe. We often take for granted what our bodies really allow us to do (and what we DO have in our lives) and it’s only when something is taken away that we realize just how powerful that was.

Bottomline: all of this takes practice – so be kind to yourself along the way. Remember – all you can do is the best you can with where you are with what you know right now. If you can do that most days – you’re pretty good.

With love XXO,


p.s. if any of this resonates, checkout my online training program, Ditch the Diet. Get MORE.