How do you know you’re changing and growing for the better?
Well, the first key to noticing any of your growth is self-reflection.
It’s through self-reflection that we have the ability to recognize our growth.
And it is in stillness that we discover our dreams, our visions, and our very own being. Because to put it quite frankly, if you never pause to notice where you’ve been or where you’re going, but most importantly where you are, you will miss the most important piece to self-discovery – stillness.
You even taking time to read this list is a part of self-reflection.
Because you will undoubtedly think where you are on certain points and that is magical. It is part of the process. Because when we allow ourselves to observe instead of judge ourselves and gather insight on where we want to go – we soar.
Below is a fun list of 101 ways to know you’re changing for the better. Many of these points are from my own personal journey, but also things I’ve learned from clients who have grown above and beyond into their own.
101 Ways to Know You’re Changing for the Better
1. You begin to own your words. For example, you begin to use phrases like, “I didn’t make time.” Instead of, “I didn’t have time.”
2. You don’t take things personally and recognize that the way people respond to you has everything to do with where they are in life and nothing to do with where (or what) you’re doing in life.
3. You begin to see your parents as human beings with their own wounds, insecurities, and faults. And you slowly begin to accept them for these things through a lens of compassion, and the big part … you stop blaming them for past wrongs and wounds.
4. You became an observer of your life instead of a judger of it.
5. You move your body and work out to express self-love and self-care instead of self-punishment.
6. You allow yourself to feel your feelings (instead of cover them up with a myriad of things from spending too much to drinking too much to eating too much).
7. You begin to find solutions and options instead of blocks and obstacles.
8. You view heart-shattering, hard times as massive times of self-growth.
9. You recognize and honor that not all relationships are meant to last forever and that whether a friendship, a working relationship, or a romantic partnership, once the growth has come to an end the relationship may come to an end too and that’s OK.
10. You celebrate friends accomplishments and exciting new life developments instead of becoming jealous of them.
11. And if you do become jealous, you become curious about the emotion and dig deep to understand what that jealousy really means you feel you’re missing in your life and then like the bravest of the souls out there, you add that to the vision of your life with grace.
12. You recognize when you’re deeply upset by another that it’s a sign they’ve triggered a wound that still needs healing.
13. You view “failure” as part of the process.
14. You choose to believe that people are doing the best they can.
15. You stop making assumptions of what people are thinking or saying and if you need to, you speak your truth and have a compassionate conversation with that person instead of letting it boil inside.
16. You view what you have in your life through a lens of gratitude instead of a lens of what you don’t have.
17. You speak to yourself like you would speak to your daughter, best friend, or a beloved mentee.
18. You stop being so hard on yourself.
19. You learn to let the small stuff go.
20. You believe that something higher than you (God, Spirit, Faith, the Universe, whatever resonates) connects you with what is meant for you.
21. You focus on what will work, why you can, and why you will – not what won’t work, why you can’t, or why you won’t.
22. You continue to show up every day the best you can, knowing forward is forward.
23. You stop pushing and you allow yourself to live.
24. You view your body as an amazing vessel that you grew up in instead of a shell you feel uncomfortable in.
25. You begin to do this by moving your body in ways you love until you feel a connection with your body (you eventually will) and by focusing on all of the things your body allows you to do (that you more likely than not take for granted, like see, hear, or walk).
26. You stop spending so much time on your phone and start replacing that with real conversations, activities, projects, books, and people that light you up inside.
27. You allow yourself to do nothing, and you enjoy the stillness.
28. You wake up with an intention.
29. You give thanks and gratitude every day.
30. You know that money, thinness, popularity, or the number of likes can’t grant you happiness.
31. You continue to learn.
32. You recognize that the power to change is within you – not a coach, some Facebook article, or the latest wellness advice. It stems from within you.
33. You recognize that every “YES” pushes something else aside in your life, so “YES” is a word that doesn’t come frequently.
34. You tell the people you appreciate that you appreciate them.
35. You know that there is no such thing as “there.”
36. You find an equilibrium between working to make things happen and understanding that if it was and is meant to be, then it will be.
37. You accept that you will get in disagreements and arguments with loved ones (it’s a part of life), but they’re not always a bad thing. They’ll either make you stronger and help you heal your wounds once those triggers are hit and the relationship will fade, or they’ll bring you closer so you can mend bridges and move forward and walk across the bridges together.
38. You’re not afraid to say you messed up. In fact, you say it all the time and people love you for it.
39. You know when it’s time to leave – whether that be a party, a conversation, a job, a project, or a relationship.
40. You’re not afraid to leave.
41. You stop trying to push people to be someone they’re not or feel or think like you do – you accept where they’re at, and you get you can’t push someone when they’re not ready.
42. You begin to forgive yourself.
43. You begin to forgive others.
44. You recognize that even if you forgive someone it doesn’t mean you need to forgive their action, but it means you’re ready to move on and let it go.
45. You begin really listening to how other people are feeling – not just what they’re saying – but how they’re feeling.
46. You also begin to not just talk about what you think but how you feel and you honor those feelings fiercely.
47. You begin to live from your heart.
48. You begin to really dive deep and unearth the things you’ve been putting off because you didn’t think you were worthy.
49. You slowly, but readily begin to think, “What would me being worthy look like?”
50. You spend some time thinking about this question and,
51. You realize you’re worthy as you are, right now, in this very moment.
52. You freely allow yourself to list the qualities you appreciate about yourself.
53. You grant yourself permission to always speak from the heart.
54. You stop being scared to tell others your feelings because you know they’re coming from a kind, caring, compassionate place. And when you show up in this light so will others and if they don’t, it wasn’t meant to be.
55. You practice self-reflection and you allow this reflection to guide you.
56. You find a creative outlet – whether it be writing, singing, painting, coloring, playing the violin, or learning how to be a better swimmer – you find something fun that brings you joy for no reason at all except for the pure intention and purpose of joy.
57. You don’t beat yourself up or downgrade your worth if a romantic relationship doesn’t work out. Instead, you think that this potential partner has weeded themselves out for you.
58. You choose to learn from each and every experience, so you can strengthen your soul.
59. You know that you can’t have happy times without sad times.
60. You begin to practice not being so “black and white.” You learn to play in the grey.
61. You understand that love is a choice, and you show up for it everyday. Maybe not always your best, but you show up.
62. You finally start to take care of yourself. Because if you can’t take care of you, you can’t take care of anyone else. This is something you’ve always heard, but now you finally get it.
63. You recognize it’s totally fine and normal to get off track. And that growth is really about coming back on track. The quicker you can come back, the more you’ve grown.
64. You know healing and self-love aren’t linear. Just when you think you’re done another hurdle comes up. But that means you’re doing it right … you’re growing beyond your growth edge.
65. You’re not afraid to say you need help and then more importantly, to get help.
66. You know that light always outshines darkness, so that’s how you decide to show up in the world.
67. You don’t try to be someone you’re not.
68. You live showing your real whole authentically weird truth.
69. You stop hoping your parents will be people they’re not, and you accept them for who they are.
70. You know that you can’t change anyone’s actions, but only your reaction, so that’s what you decide to work on.
71. You view difficult people as a way to exercise staying kind, keeping your energetic boundaries, and keeping your energy unchanged.
72. You’re not so hard on yourself.
73. You begin to like yourself.
74. You begin to understand why you’re loveable.
75. You begin to remove all the unnecessary clutter from your life, beginning with your home and clothes.
76. You not only appreciate the people in your life for who they are but the lessons that have taught you.
77. You stop comparing your life to others. You get that how something looks on the outside doesn’t necessarily mean that that’s how it is on the inside.
78. You view your whole life – people, struggles, work, circumstances -as your classroom.
79. You choose to look at things as experiments.
80. And to keep what works for you and let go of what doesn’t because you know that you are your own best teacher.
81. You realize life is too short to hate your body.
82. You begin to think that when you’re 90 you won’t care how your thighs looked when you sat down, how (you thought) people looked at you at the gym, or how that little black dress looked on you. Instead, you’ll care that you wore the shorts you loved; that your body then was able to take those fun intense fitness classes; and that your knees allowed you to dance in that little black dress. You decide to love and not regret.
83. You let go of the cookie-cutter expectation you’ve agreed to of what your career, partner, body, home (and the list goes on) should look like, and you start appreciating all the good in your life now.
84. You apologize to people you need to apologize to – whether in-person or not – sometimes a written letter that never makes it to them is all that’s needed to clear the energy.
85. You allow heartbreaking times to make your heart stronger.
86. You stop thinking about what you “should” be doing and think about what you want to be doing.
87. You make time for yourself to actually do it.
88. You stop feeling guilty because you’re truly comfortable with your decisions.
89. You stop trying to mold your body (or yourself) into something it’s not meant to be.
90. You become mindful in every area of your life.
91. You’re radically honest about why something is really bothering you.
92. You view rejection as bravery because it means you showed up, you put yourself out there, and you’re not afraid to live your life.
93. You recognize that being kind to yourself is a practice that you need to be present for daily.
94. You know you can create a new story for your life – at any moment of any day.
95. You stop expecting yourself to be perfect; you cut yourself a break.
96. You get really clear on the life you want to life and you feel it. You see it. You show up for it daily.
97. You stop looking to a gazillion outside sources for answers and start looking within.
98. You don’t accuse, judge, or blame others for when they do something you don’t agree with – instead you call upon them to dig deeper and share their “Why.”
99. You begin to smile, laugh, and create conversation with others around you, instead of staying in your own bubble.
100. You don’t let uncomfortable conversations, disagreements, “failures,” and things that just don’t go your way, ruin your entire day. Instead, you feel them, you acknowledge them, and you move on.
101. You begin to work through and cut through all those limiting beliefs and stories you’ve been creating about yourself that just aren’t true so you can move on and life the life you’re meant to and you envision it. And you decide to show up every day the best you can with what you know with where you are right now with what you have.
You keep going XXO,
p.s. Did this article speak to you?? Learn more and get on the VIP waitlist for my Diet the Diet. Get MORE. program coming this January HERE.