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A Simple Tool for More Connection & Kindness in All of Your Relationships, Especially the One with Yourself

My husband has a dog named Hunter.

OK… let me correct myself.

We have a dog named Hunter.

You see, when we got together and blended our fur families, I brought my cat and 7-pound rescue chaweenie, Mila (she’s half-dachshund, half-chihuahua), and my husband brought Hunter.

Hunter is a 6-year-old, 80-pound American lab. To me – someone whose first dog was and is 7-pounds – Hunter is a very large dog.

Upon moving into our first home together, I walked our dogs a lot and then something happened…

During one of our routine walks, Hunter got in a fight with another dog, taking me down and dragging me along the concrete path…

The growls. The bruises. The strength I needed to muster to pull Hunter away from that other dog, despite my raging fear… I get chills thinking about it.

But, I pulled myself back up, sobbing, sucking in air, and I dialed my husband.

We hired a trainer and over the next few months, I learned how to properly walk Hunter on a leash. How to take on a more dominant energy with him, and most importantly, I was learning how to calm my fear and my energy when I now walked him.

Because every time I felt fear, Hunter felt fear…

He could literally feel my fear through his leash. When another big dog passed us, if I tensed up, he tensed up. But if I was calm, he was calm – no matter what dog walked by us.

I quickly realized…

If I wanted Hunter to act a certain way, then I needed to act the way I wanted him to act. More importantly, I needed to feel how I wanted him to feel.

Because if I held onto fear, and got nervous every time a big dog walked by us, he reacted with fear and got nervous every time a big dog walked by us (trust me, I’ve tested this).

But why does any of this matter to you – fellow dog walker or not?

Well, because we all need to examine the energy we’re putting out there.

And because we have so much more power than we think.

You see, the energy we put out there determines the unfolding of every relationship in our lives.

The relationship with our bodies. With our friends. With food. With our partners. Literally, every relationship in our lives.

And if we walk around in fear, like I did with Hunter, because of bad past experiences, we will see that fear mirrored back at us almost immediately.

Which is why it’s my job to work on letting go of the past, building back up my own confidence, and taking lots of deep breaths and learning to trust again.

So think about it – what or who do you need to change your energy around?


Your body?

Your work?

The relationships in your lives?

Think about it, hit ‘reply,’ and let me know.

Because as woo-woo as it may seem, if you show up more calm, with more grace, and with more ease and kindness, that is what will be echoed right back at you, in every relationship in your life.

Especially in the one that sets the foundation for every relationship in your life, the one with yourself.

And sometimes, all we need is a few deep breaths and the decision to try and trust again to start.

With lots of love,


p.s. in case you’re curious, here’s a very candid photo of me with Hunter:)