During my matchmaker days, clients would weed possible love interests out … Before even meeting them. Based on things like height, hair color, or geographic location.
I’d often hear:
I need someone at least 5’10’’. I can’t date anyone shorter.
Sorry, but anyone I’m going to date has to to live within a 15-mile radius.
I’ll only date brunettes.
Sometimes the lists would be so long my eyeballs would glaze over halfway down the page.
And lots of times, clients would insist they meet someone open-minded. Right after they forked over a full-page list of ‘must haves.’
In this scenario, I’d often stare back (thinking and twirling my hair … I have a hair-twirling problem).
And I’d say something like, “You know, if you want someone open-minded, I hate to break it to you. But you’re going to need to be more open-minded.”
Now, this wasn’t what clients always wanted to hear. But, those who took this simple advice to heart had more fun while dating and more chemistry on dates.
That saying? Like attracts like. Yep, that’s what was going on here.
You see, here’s the trick.
In dating or in life, being open is so important to finding new possibilities and stories. Stories, journeys, and people who can change our lives. Who can define a new powerful way for us to view our worlds and ourselves.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard clients say, “No, that won’t work for me,” without a second thought. Heck, I’ve done it too.
And you know what?
Because we’re not allowing ourselves room to experiment. To drop the expectations. To make room for the unknown and for possibility.
The life-changing kinds of possibility.
Take for example, the guy I married. We knew each other for 7 years before getting hitched. I never imagined we’d end up together. But, I’m so grateful I opened my heart and mind. And that we did.
So, if you’re dating and find yourself stuck, let the dating list go.
Open up. Know your core values of who you want to call in, but let everything else fall aside. Go a little bananas and go on a date with the “too nice” or “too short” gent you’d never normally consider going out with.
And get curious about them! Allow yourself to have fun, even if they’re not the person for you. Because with this type of dating energy, you’ll be the one everyone wants to date. Promise.
Even better, you’ll learn about yourself along the way. Which in truth, is the point of all relationships, especially romantic ones.
And if you’re not dating, but you feel stuck – it’s likely because you keep trying to do the same thing to solve the same problem.
So try something new. Be open to possibility. And keep trying until you find something that lights you up.
Sometimes it’s that simple.
And you know what?
Along the way, you’ll find a new confidence in doing something you didn’t think you could do. And you’ll begin to change your energy and attract more of the good stuff into your life.
Because that’s how it works.
Relax. Be open. Show up.
And allow yourself to have some fun – in all of your relationships – especially the one with yourself;)