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One Secret Every Woman Trying to Love Themselves Should Know

Jamming food in your mouth, in the car, scrambling to get to your appointment on time.  Feeling panicked.


Finally getting home, STARVING  (went too long without eating) – devouring chips, Cheez-Its, peanut butter, grapes – or whatever the heck is around. Aftermath = feeling pretty gross.


Pushing your body to workout because you despise your “big, stubby thighs.” Not because you love your body and want to feel vibrant, energetic, and strong. Feeling like you want to flip that switch.


Realizing some of the things and people in your life,  make you feel bad, not good enough and unimportant.  Feeling like you’re ready for a change.


Discovering that you’re your own worst critic. You’d  never speak to anyone else like you do yourself. Feeling it’s time to turn this around.


All of the above? Observations. 

Observations without judgment that is.


Observations I’ve had about myself at one point or another.

But, instead of getting all down and out on myself, I let them guide me for change.

YOU can do this too.


You see, observations aren’t something to beat yourself up about. They’re not something to use as “ammo” against yourself.

I ate horribly yesterday. I’m disgusting. What’s wrong with me??! Why can everyone else do it, but I can’t?!


Observations are insights that enable you to make changes in your life.

Huh, ok, I ate really poorly yesterday. What was going on that made that happen? At least I see my body really can’t handle that kind of food. And I learned for next time that keeping my food journal and tuning-in to how hungry I am beforehand really is important for me. I’ll do more of that.


You can’t move forward without knowing what it is that you want changed.

If  you stop picking yourself apart, you give yourself a chance to get to know YOU – what you like, what you don’t like; what you love about you, what things you want to make better. Flipping the switch from judgmental to observational opens the possibility for massive change.

You may not always like what you learn, but hey – at least you got there. You’re able to look inside yourself and have deep realizations about what you need to feel good in your body and love yourself. That’s huge. Some people never get there.


Snap yourself out of the I suck, I’m stuck place with the mantra: observation is key for change.

Grow into it. Own it. Thank yourself for it.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve  walked around saying this to myself, really.


And start to look at things in this new light of:

Oh, when I do this, I think, feel or react this way. Now, do I like that?  Does that make me feel good? Does it support me towards my wellness goals?


Stop looking at things from the mindset of : 

Oh, I did this and failed again … I’m awful. What’s wrong with me? I can never change. I don’t deserve to be happy, healthy, or love my body.


Pull yourself out of judgement (why you gonna go all mean girl on yourself?) and put yourself in observation mode.


To do that, ask yourself these 3-questions:

1. How did that situation make me feel?

2. What did I appreciate about it?

3. What’s the most important takeaway for next time?


After you’ve collected that info: Do more of what makes you feel good and remove yourself from what makes you feel bad.

Yup, it sounds easier said than done. But, once you start standing up for yourself and being kind to yourself, you can radically switch to doing more of the good-for-YOU stuff (journaling, supportive friends, moving your body, really  making time to eat your meals, etc) and less of the other stuff that makes you feel crappy (setting no work-life boundaries, eating nutella mindlessly out of the jar, socializing with people who don’t make you feel good, saying really mean things to the beautiful person you are, etc).

But, you can’t do this without observation!


Observation without judgement  allows you to deeply understand what people, activities and things  support your goals and make you feel good. On the flip side, it allows you to see who and what doesn’t support your goals and makes you feel bad.

The cool thing is that through this process, you gain the power to do more of the things that make you feel healthy, happy, and vibrant and cut out the other stuff that doesn’t.

I do the observation technique all the time. It’s a total game -changer.

Try it.

And remember, be nicer to yourself. You really do deserve it;)