How to Not Let Negative People Suck Your Energy

 

 

After giving a talk, someone asked me how to keep their energetic boundaries. Basically, how to not take on others’ pain, anger, resentment, pessimistic outlook on life, or really, whatever negative mojo is running through them.

 

This is a key question because when we do take on others’ “stuff,” we’re way more likely to be living in a burnt out, overwhelmed, and disconnected space. And it’s in this space that we ignore our true wants and desires and give into the quick fix, to numb or to fill a void – i.e. the cake or pizza for immediate comfort; the extra handbag we really don’t need (or can afford); the partner who really isn’t our match but provides a false sense of security; the extra drink that numbs and “comforts” to take the edge off.

 

Most likely, you’re a feeler, which means you pick-up on others’ energy quite easily. You can tell when someone is happy, sad, hurt, embarrassed, or nervous. You can sense the vibe of a room immediately upon entering. You can feel when your friends, partner, or family is down-and-out (or ecstatic) without even being around them.

 

And for your unique ability to feel, it’s important to protect your energy and keep your boundaries in place, so you don’t take on others’ feelings. Otherwise, you end up on their same low-vibe level, where you don’t follow your heart, you get sucked back into your old patterns or ways of thinking, and your perspective of the world shifts to more of a dark rather than light place, which makes it hard to operate from your best, most conscious self.

 

If you pause, I’m sure you’d be able to think of lots of examples where you’d need to protect your energy. For example, the negative coworker who constantly complains, the family member who nothing ever seems to work out for, the group of women who constantly gossips and brings other women down (for no real reasons at all).

 

While it’d be the easiest to generally avoid all of these types, that’s not real life. Tricky situations and people exist, so we can learn, grow, and expand in ways we never thought possible. Remind yourself (as I do constantly) that if everything was always peachy, you’d be living in a bubble … and no one ever grows in a bubble.

 

So- that leaves us with the question – how do you create boundaries to protect your energy so you don’t end up burnt out, emotionally spent, upset, or feeling all weird and disconnected?

 

First, truly take a second to admire the fact that you’re such a sensitive soul, and you have the ability to feel others’ emotions – this means you’re an empath. I know this may seem daunting – or at least this was for me when I realized I was – but realize you have the ability to connect, understand and show compassion for those who are in your circle. And connection and a sense of belonging is so important for us to feel whole – and when we feel whole – we make better decisions for ourselves all around, including about food.

It’s only when you have no boundaries that issues come in, but all you have to do is create some.

 

There are a few things you can try, if they speak to you:

First, get in the practice of meditating (even if for just 2 minutes a day). Sit, close your eyes, quiet your mind and just focus on your breath. There are guided meditations you can try too (like here and here) or even apps on your phone (like www.calm.com).

 

You can also try a grounding exercise. When in a meditative space, simply imagine a long branch or cord (any color that strikes you) coming out from the base of your spine (your root chakra), digging into the earth, past the ground, the rocks, and burying into the soil, spreading below your feet, wide, forming roots. Breathe into the roots and see it wrapping around rocks deep in the soil, making you feel safe. This grounding exercise allows you to feel connected to the Earth and centered. Meditation will allow you to feel more connected to everything as well, but also to yourself, which is super important to feel grounded and not run over by others’ energy. Walking or hiking in nature is another way to feel grounded and centered.

 

Now, when you’re actually going into a situation where you know there’s going to be a lot of people or a difficult person/situation, it’s important to envision (before you’re even there) an energetic field around you, protecting you almost. Choose whatever color tickles your fancy. I do this after any big speaking engagement when my energy is drained, or simply when I’ve been around a lot of people for a prolonged period of time and need to recenter. And when you’re around everyone, imagine your shield, call in your energy and practice staying grounded and connected to the Earth in your own space. Mind you – this is a practice – but you can do it.

 

Also, for you, it’ll be very important to speak your truth, set firm boundaries in your life (don’t say YES, when you really mean NO), and choose mostly people in your life that lift you up, that bring you higher. As you come more and more from this space, get connected to yourself, and view difficult people and situations, as a time to practice staying centered and bringing your best self rather than as energy-sucks – you WILL change in awesome ways.

Every time there is someone who pushes my buttons that I need to interact with, I look at them as my teacher. My time to bring my highest self and shine and keep my energy (not take anything personally and realize everyone is just doing the best they can with where they are and what they have – I repeat this to myself over and over) and see how much further I can grow.

 

How do you keep your energy positive and protected in difficult situations? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below.

With light & love XXO

Corinne