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When a Comment About Your Weight is Made…

Just as I was walking back from dinner, my girlfriend shot me a text about a comment someone made on my new Facebook profile photo.

“Jane Doe’s {name changed for privacy} Facebook comment? I mean come on. Don’t ask that on Facebook.”

I had no idea what she was talking about. I deleted the app a couple months back.

But, my girlfriend had me intrigued … and a little concerned.

What in the world could have been said?

I downloaded Facebook and saw the comment…

It was from a woman, in a similar field, saying I looked great and then asking, “Have you been losing weight?”

Reading the words made my heart cringe.

And my judgy ego side shamefully thought, “How in the world could you be in my field?”

But, I sat. Thinking…


How should I respond??

Maybe I should write a long response back about how no one is really their body, we’re all just souls in a physical vessel.

Or, I could kindly explain how no one’s weight determines their worth, and I really can’t answer her question because I don’t weigh myself. I make decisions based on what feels good in my body.

Or, I could choose to send this woman love and see that she was trying to give me a compliment.

So that is what I did.

I put my ego (and triggered self behind) and listened to my higher, loving-self (the side you have that lives in abundance, believes you create what you see, and treats others with love).


I knew what I needed to do and what I didn’t need to do.

:: I needed to choose to see the good in her and send her love

:: I didn’t need to sit and stew about the next best move to show her she wasn’t in the right

:: I needed to remove the comment and create boundaries by choosing who I decided to have in my private personal world, including Facebook

:: I didn’t need to try and get her to see my point of view

:: I needed to respect her perspective

:: I didn’t need to get worked up


And neither do you.

In nearly 10 years of helping women ditch the diet and get more, I’ve never met someone who hasn’t received a negative or shaming comment about her body or food. Never. Personally, I’ve received many from past partners, family members, bullies at school…

But the thing to remember is that the comment is never ever about you. Hurt people hurt people.

And it’s your job to remind yourself that your weight doesn’t equate your worth.

No one is going to go to your grave saying they remembered you for your 6-pack abs or amazing biceps … And no offense, but if that’s what you’re remembered for, I think there are more things to be concerned about…

Because you are not your body. You’re what’s inside there. You’re a kind, caring, compassionate woman.

And it’s your responsibility to nurture and care for yourself and your body because it’s carrying around all that good stuff inside of you. So honor that. Pay attention to what you need to feel alive.

Allow yourself to do things that intrinsically feel good in your body.

You’re designed to honor your hunger and fullness. You’re allowed to enjoy food. Your body is made to move.

The crucial part is to allow yourself to see that.

To change the words after you say, “I am…”


Because you are a smart, beautiful, capable woman who can soar at any moment.

So allow yourself to see yourself that way.

And start by being kinder to yourself.

Start by setting boundaries with those in your life who need them and finding others who support you.

And begin to allow yourself to say, “I am more than my jean size.”

Because guess what?

You are.

And when you believe that, everything changes.

I promise. Because I know.

With so much love XXO,


p.s. if any of this resonates, check out my Ditch the Diet. Get MORE. program.