Yesterday, I was talking to my dad on the phone.
Deep in conversation (our conversations are more like mutual therapy sessions), he says something along the lines of, “No parent ever tells their kid when they’re little, ‘Welcome to the world, life is going to be hard.’ But that’s the fact of the matter. You’re going to have peaks, and you’re going to have valleys and the hope is that your peaks are more often than your valleys. But they’re both a part of life.”
I pause, waiting.
I knew he was waiting to say how awesome what he just said was …
Here it comes…
Dad: Wow. That sounded really good! Did you write that one down? You really should.
Me: Ha! No, but I will. It was really good.
And it was.
But in truth, I had no intention of writing down anything he said. None. Nada. Zilch.
But it got me thinking. All of the really hard stuff we go through?
We’re not taught.
We don’t learn those things in school. Unless, perhaps, you become a therapist of some sort. But even then it’s always very different hearing or learning about something versus experiencing it.
I’d always heard about heartache and read a bunch of articles about it, but until I experienced it, I really had no idea how to deal with it or how it felt or the fact that your heart literally does ache. I thought that was something people just said to be more dramatic…
When my grandfather died, I had no idea how to get through it, none. Embarrassingly and shamefully, I went on a random date (from some dating app, I forget which one) after the funeral. To try and numb the pain. I didn’t want to feel it. Eventually, I did. And wow was that powerful and horrible and sad and frightening and then beautiful all at the same time.
Coming into my twenties, I had no idea that there was such a thing as mindful eating or self-love or any of that. I just thought there was a mold you had to fit. The impossible mold of women you see in ads, on television, and who are photoshopped.
In truth, I had no idea how to handle any of these things until I actually experienced them.
It’s the same for all of us.
The things we aren’t taught, like how to handle not feeling like you’re enough; feelings of jealousy; getting rejected; having your heart broken; letting yourself surrender; falling in love again; losing a loved one; caring for a child; watching your parents age; handling massive career rejection; putting the pieces back together – we aren’t taught these things because these are the things we need to experience, molding us into the most imperfectly perfect version of ourselves.
These are the things that make your journey your journey. And your story, your story. They’re what make you, YOU.
Lean into them.
“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
― Oscar Wilde
With so much love XXO
p.s. if you’re ready to lean more into your life and finally, really start loving yourself, check out my program coming this January.
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