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Is Wanting to Lose Weight a Bad Thing?

A few weeks ago, I was on instagram doing “the usual scroll” when a certain post from a fellow instagrammer caught my eye.

I can’t remember the full message, but the essence of the post was that wanting to lose weight was not good, and you should only want to focus on loving yourself.

A few comments in on this post, a young woman strongly disagreed with the user who had posted it. She asked, “If you know you’re unhealthy, are you saying that wanting to lose weight is a bad thing, and you should just love your body??”

As someone who helps women ditch the diet, this question got my juices flowing.

What a powerful question.

Especially at a time, where we’re told to love our bodies one minute, but then shown photographs of perfect looking women with seemingly no cellulite, folds, wrinkles, or dimples the next.

So – is wanting to lose weight a bad thing?

In short, no.

But it really boils down to HOW you’re trying to do it, why you want to, and one huge overarching theme that may seem odd to you…


We can’t dislike ourselves into a state of “perfection”

Here’s the deal, if you’re coming at yourself with anxiety, self-hate, or shame, as your HOW, like most diets or extreme fitness plans do, most likely, your new habits won’t stick.

We just can’t permanently change things – anything – when we come at them from a place of dislike.

Take, for example, a romantic relationship. If you wanted a happier, more fulfilling relationship with your partner, but everyday you spoke meanly to them, pushed them beyond their limits, and told them they weren’t good enough as they were … Do you think that relationship would blossom or disintegrate?

Well, my sweet friend, the same goes for your relationship with food, yourself, and your body.

If you come at yourself everyday ignoring what your body really needs – rest, more water, movement, kind words, nourishing foods, enjoyment – your relationship with your body won’t blossom either.

The HOW you’re coming at yourself, your body, and food here matters a lot.

A tool for you:

Every morning ask yourself, ‘What is the most important thing my body needs today and how will I make it happen?’


Our “whys” help us uncover our way

Your WHY behind wanting to lose weight is important to understand.

Are you wanting to lose weight so you can be your healthiest self, and you know you aren’t taking care of yourself like you want to?

Or, are you wanting to shed some pounds or manipulate your body because you don’t feel worthy enough – whether it be for a guy, because of social media, or for whatever other reason that you’re holding onto?

Because if it’s the latter, the issue isn’t really about food or your body, it’s about your beliefs surrounding your worth.

A tool for you:

An affirmation for the mornings and evenings and throughout your day when needed (and just know if using this affirmation {seemingly} hundreds of times throughout your day is what you need … that’s totally normal) … Here’s the affirmation: I am worthy of kindness and love.


When we surrender and accept our bodies, we open the door for ourselves to truly care for our bodies

This is perhaps the most important point here: when you come at your body from a place of self-care and release the idea of having to be a certain size, shape, or weight, you allow yourself to fully step into your body and to be able to really care for it.

It’s in this release, that you feel free.

And you stop doing things that you have to and start doing things that you want to, so you can discover your best, healthiest, happiest self.

For example, when I released the idea of my body having to weigh a certain amount or look a certain way, I allowed myself to find yoga instead of the gym. To rest, if I needed to. And, to learn how to actually enjoy food again and honor my hunger and fullness.

This is freeing stuff!

Because when we get rid of the old (this includes old habits, beliefs and stories), we make room for the new.

So think about it – what do you want to release from your life?

Because YOU have the power to do this too.

So wherever you’re at in your relationship with your body, I encourage you to think self-care instead of weight loss. One is lasting and lends to peace with your body and food and has your body landing healthfully and happily exactly where it’s supposed to be. And the other, in most cases, is short-lived and usually lends to confusion, frustration, and feeling bad about yourself.

I don’t know about you, but I opt for self-care, like 3000%.

On that note, here’s a tool for you:

What are a couple ways you can add more self-care and kindness into your life … ?? And write these down now, so you don’t do it like never:)


You have permission to be imperfect

Finally, please know that caring for your body also means allowing yourself rest, allowing yourself fun, and allowing yourself to get back up and start again when you need to … without beating yourself up.

We all need to get back up again.

Because hey – that’s what we do.

Sending you lots of love,